THE LAY OF FAIR OLVIN
by KateGladstone
Summary: The real story of how he slew and petrified the Giant Pire, then won the Lady Liln.


" .ll and the poet sang the great old lay of Fair Olvin and how he fought the Giant Pire and turned him into stone ..." — THE HORSE AND HIS BOY

CONTENT WARNING: Unjust Banishing, Death in Childbirth, Sexist/Gender-Stereotyping Monarch, Attempted Rape, Attempted Murder, Scary Giant, Partial Nudity, Body Transformation

THE LAY OF FAIR OLVIN

FAIR OLVIN was Prince of Archenland

Under the brilliant sky —

His brother, King Olv, would have him banned:

In times that are gone by.

King Olv announced: "I hate my brother"

Under the brilliant sky —i

"For in his birth, he killed our mother"

In times that are gone by.

"He's fair of face, but weak of arm"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Unmanly men may our Kingdom harm!"

In times that are gone by.

"There's naught in him princely but his looks"

Under the brilliant sky —

"He loves cooking and sewing and music and books!"

In times that are gone by.

Fair Olvin stayed no more at home

Under the brilliant sky —

The king his brother bid him roam,

In times that are gone by.

"Don't come to court till you've carried through"

Under the brilliant sky —

"A deed no other man could do"

In times that are gone by.

In Stormness Town by Pavender Creek

Under the brilliant sky —

Olvin gave his name as "Vin the Meek,"

In times that are gone by.

He became a cook at the Lion's Head Inn,

Under the brilliant sky —

His feats with a feast did more customers win

In times that are gone by.

He improved the walls with hangings fine

Under the brilliant sky —

That the customers praised as they thronged to dine,

In times that are gone by.

He filled their ears with tale and song

Under the brilliant sky —

And no evening there was e'er thought long,

In times that are gone by.

King Olv died heirless. The news was spread

Under the brilliant sky —

But "Vin the Meek" sought no crown for his head

In times that are gone by.

"I shall not seek to be king of the land"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Why should I return, when from court I am banned?"

In times that are gone by.

He courted the serving-maid, Liln the Sharp,

Under the brilliant sky —

He wooed her with tongue and quill and harp,

In times that are gone by.

She replied, "If I loved, then I'd love thee"

Under the brilliant sky —

"But a fairer man, long ago, hurt me,"

In times that are gone by.

"He wooed me with tongue and harp and quill,"

Under the brilliant sky —

"But next he wanted to rape and kill,"

In times that are gone by.

"I stabbed him twice, left him for dead,"

Under the brilliant sky —

"But he recovered when I had fled,"

In times that are gone by.

"For he was a mage of power and fame,"

Under the brilliant sky —

"He transformed to a giant: and Pire is his name"

In times that are gone by.

"He swore to return on some other night"

Under the brilliant sky —

"When the Star of Blood shone red and bright"

In times that are gone by.

"Now the Star of Blood shines bright and red"

Under the brilliant sky —

"And my ears so keen hear his distant tread"

In times that are gone by.

"We're a week's giant-march from his moorland lair"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Or as few as five days, if the weather keeps fair"

In times that are gone by.

A giant whose torch was an oak afire

Under the brilliant sky —

Strode up to the inn: it was Giant Pire!

In times that are gone by.

The customers and the innkeeper ran,

Under the brilliant sky —

But Liln and Vin had concocted a plan,

In times that are gone by.

Vin spoke to the giant: "I hear you are"

Under the brilliant sky —

"A wizard whose might and fame reach far"

In times that are gone by.

Meanwhile, he harped. Liln distracted her guest

Under the brilliant sky —

With that Calormen dance that reveals one breast

In times that are gone by.

Pire sat in the inn-yard to watch the fun

Under the brilliant sky —

And he watched till his torch was cold and done

In times that are gone by.

"If your magic's so mighty," Vin softly said,

Under the brilliant sky —

"Can you change your shape? Grow a second head?"

In times that are gone by.

"Nothing is easier," Pire replied

Under the brilliant sky —

A new head, a new neck, grew his own beside:

In times that are gone by.

Vin said "You've two heads: are they both quite full?"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Or is one head wise, and the other one dull?"

In times that are gone by.

"Two heads are better," the giant claimed,

Under the brilliant sky —

"When they work as a team, you'll be beaten and shamed"

In times that are gone by.

Said Liln (continuing in her dance)

Under the brilliant sky —

"I think you should prove that assertion, perchance"

In times that are gone by.

"To see if your wit is as great as your fame"

Under the brilliant sky —

"We're challenging you to the Riddle Game"

In times that are gone by.

Pire said with both heads: "Two on one? No fair!"

Under the brilliant sky —

Said Vin: "We're even; you've two heads there"

In times that are gone by.

Vin's opening riddle, a simple goad,

Under the brilliant sky —

Was "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

In times that are gone by.

Pire's left head responded "To reach the far side,"

Under the brilliant sky —

But his right head disagreed and denied

In times that are gone by.

The right head howled "Nay! For the chicken had found"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Crossing was quicker than detouring 'round"

In times that are gone by.

Then each of his heads insulted the other,

Under the brilliant sky —

Head against head, as when brother hates brother

In times that are gone by.

His right hand clouted his own left head,

Under the brilliant sky —

His left hand choked his right neck. Pire was dead

In times that are gone by.

At the mighty crash as the giant mage fell

Under the brilliant sky —

The inn-folk ran back, and saw all was well

In times that are gone by.

When they tried to bury him, soon 'twas clear

Under the brilliant sky —

Just to cover his toenails would take a whole year

In times that are gone by.

Inn-folk and townsfolk, each one and all

Under the brilliant sky —

As they kept on digging, to Aslan did call,

In times that are gone by.

"His flesh will stink before we are through"

Under the brilliant sky —

Vin cried: "Save these people who trust in You,

In times that are gone by."

As softly as sunlight the Lion came

Under the brilliant sky —

"For the help of others, you've called my name"

In times that are gone by.

"My son, if you'd wish to end this task"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Play on your harp: you shall have what you ask"

In times that are gone by.

Vin strummed a few chords, a despairing drone

Under the brilliant sky —

Ere the sound had faded, the corpse was stone

In times that are gone by.

The Lion then said: "You are called 'the Meek' "

Under the brilliant sky —

But I ask: Have you nowhere a throne to seek?"

In times that are gone by.

Vin said: "Not I. I am staying right here"

Under the brilliant sky —

"I will not leave Liln, quick-witted and dear"

In times that are gone by:

"If she comes not with me, I'll never go"

Under the brilliant sky —

"Thus the Archen crown I shall never know"

In times that are gone by.

Then up spoke Liln: "You are my desire"

Under the brilliant sky —

"You have won my heart, by the slaying of Pire"

In times that are gone by.

In Archenland's court, to this day they sing

Under the brilliant sky —

Of Lady Liln and Olvin the King

In times that are gone by.

Where the inn still stands, now the mountains stand higher

Under the brilliant sky —

And the one with two peaks is the tallest: Mount Pire

Since times that are gone by.

.


End file.
